Moving Half Way Around the World to Find Home
"Reetu, we're moving," my mom told me in Punjabi, the language I grew up speaking. "Moving?" I asked. "Where are we moving?? To grandma's house? To Ambala, the next city over?" "Actually we're moving to America, to be with your dad," she answered calmly. "What???" I replied -- shocked at my mother's answer. That was how the conversation went when my mom first told me about our big move. My mom, in her mid-twenties, and I, as a young child, were moving from Haryana, India to the United States of America to live with my dad, who worked there.
This little conversation started it all. We gathered our things, packed only the items we absolutely needed, and said our goodbyes to family and friends. I was no longer going to get to go to my grandparents' house every weekend or play with my cousins and their friends in the village center. Though I was sad about the move, my friends got me excited about it. They told me stories about how great America was and how things were so different there. My friends especially loved the fact that I was moving to New York City, the place every Indian only dreams about going.
Now, as a college sophomore, not only have I been to New York but many other states in the US as well. As I look back on that 22 hour plane trip, I can still remember the brightness of the lights of New York City shining through my airplane window as we landed. I also remember all of the city lights at night, the easy going traffic that actually stopped at stop signs and stayed in their own lanes, the smell of freshness, and the huge bridges. It was a kind of heaven for people who came from other countries. Of course, all of this sounds amazing, but it wasn't all glamour.
Everything was so different. The people always went on their own ways minding their own business and not talking to anyone on the streets as I experienced in India. The food was rather bland to me at first since I usually had spices added to anything I ate. I vaguely remember a time when my dad tried to get my mom to eat her first hotdog. "I didn't know coming to this country would involve eating dogs," she protested. And that was my first impression of a hotdog. I wasn't going to eat any kind of dog! Of course, I later learned to enjoy them. The one thing that I was most glad for when I came to America was my English speaking ability. I attended a private English school in India. So I had language in hand; culture took some getting used to.
Was the change of coming to America from around the world easy or hard? Quite honestly, I would have to say it was rather easy. You see, there are many difficulties about leaving your home to come to a completely strange land. One thing that always makes this transition easy: friends. I mean real people from the United States who are willing to talk to you and share everyday life with you. They made it easy. If I hadn't encountered some amazing friends in this country, I wouldn't have had the experience I'm having today. Making friends was easy for me, since there wasn't much of a language barrier. However, I did have a difficult time getting used to dependable electricity. For the first time, I was able to watch an entire television show without the electricity going off. That was something that I didn't have in India, especially in my area.
Culture marked the biggest difference between the two countries. The way I was raised to function was a bit too formal for the States. I best liked the freedom of this culture, that is, the freedom to choose for yourself. Whether it be religion, speech, or what you wanted to be when you grew up. It meant that I could clearly give my opinion on what I thought. I didn't need to become a doctor or do anything in the medical field if I didn't want to. And, best of all, I had the freedom to pick my own religion. In India you're born into your religion and don't have much choice. If you want to change your religion, it only results in fights with your family and society. US freedom is a very good thing!
I still find it strange how much freedom people have in relationships here. In America, people are allowed to date and then later, if they choose to, can live together. In India, such action is out of the question. It is simply against social norms to cohabitate. I still do not understand why people do it, but I guess it's something that comes with freedom of living in a country such as the US.
My US friends asked me some rather strange questions about my lifestyle before coming here. For example, they always wanted to know how I lived in such extreme poverty. They assumed everyone in India lives in poverty. Well, I did not. I actually lived a very decent life in India. It's true that India has great poverty, but that doesn't mean everyone lives that way. We had malls, really big malls. We also had every kind of fast food chain as is found in America. Also, most Indian people have indoor bathrooms in their homes instead of holes in the ground as many assume.
My friends also asked me how I was able to speak English so well. It's true that I went to a private English school. However, in India, when children enter elementary school, parents often have a choice between an English medium school or a Hindi medium school. English medium schools are schools that teach every subject except for Hindi in English. Science, math, history, all of these subjects are taught in English which helps students learn the language better by practicing it. In a Hindi medium school, all subjects are taught in Hindi. Hindi is the national language of India; so this is the reason for choosing it. Many parents see the advantage of sending their children to an English medium school. This gives them better proficiency at English. Many students still have a heavy accent, but communication improves with practice.
I have now lived in the United States of America for over ten years of my life, and it has become more than a home. Sometimes though, it's so hard for me to distinguish exactly what I am now, an American or an Indian. In America, when I first meet someone new, they automatically notice my skin color and know that I am not originally from this country. When they find out that I'm from India, they think of me as Indian. However, when I go to India to visit my family, they distinguish me as an American, because I live in the United States. So what do I consider myself now? I'm an American. I have lived in this country more then I have lived in India. I have become so used to life here that it would be hard for me to move back. My family lives here; my friends are here; this is where I'm comfortable. People say that home is where the heart is, and well, my heart is here in the United States! I guess you could say I moved half way around the world to find home!