Family Ministry

Kids in the Dark

I teach a children's ministry class at Olivet where students are required to do interviews with children. This is always an interesting project because we know from developmental theorists that children's verbal skills and vocabulary do not develop as quickly as their ability to understand and experience life. As part of the interview process, my students have children draw pictures of what they think God looks like and their understanding of the word, "church" (we have found that art is a great way for children to express themselves). One set of questions that the students ask include "Does God ever talk to you? Do you ever hear God speak? What does his voice sound like?" While one might expect kids to say they do not hear God talk, the truth is that many respond in the affirmative.

I realize there are a multitude of potential explanations for their responses, but one recurring comment has intrigued me. Many of the children of various ages have said that they hear God talk to them at night when they are in bed.  For five years I have collected student interviews of children of all ages and those who say God talks to them all say it is at night in bed. This has caused me to ask, why?  What is unique about bedtime?  Is there something special about being in bed?  Is there significance to the darkness of night? 

These questions have caused me to do some reading and thinking about the possible explanations for these common responses.  I even had to deal with the possibility that these kids just have great imaginations and that there is little merit to their responses.  But even as I began to pondered this possibility I was reminded that too often the church has been guilty of de-valuing the thoughts, words and expressions of children when it comes to their faith in God.  I was and am unwilling to be counted among the many that discount the spiritual development and sensitivity of children so I had to keep asking questions and continue to dig deeper.

Perhaps there are multiple reasons that these children hear God's voice when they are lying in bed.  An exploration of some of these possibilities may open the door to understanding how God communicates with children and in turn, maybe as adults we can learn some things from these children.  Here are a few of the thoughts I have been pondering as I continue to read and think.

• It seems there is significance to being in the dark. Darkness provides an opportunity to focus. There are few distractions and the mind is free to wonder without external influence. I have heard of parents who often tuck in their children at night with the lights off. They have discovered that their children are more calm than usual and often more willing to talk about events in their day and general life experiences. Darkness lends opportunity to be alone with one's thoughts.
• Quietness is a second component that seems to be at work in these experiences. Children live in a very busy world. They are processing data all of the time. Their world is very loud with TV, computers, I-PODs, video games, and cell phones. There rarely seems to be a time when children are silent. We have almost taken the attitude that something must be wrong if silence is occurring. We don't know what to do with silence and it often makes us uncomfortable.
• Could it be that the combination of darkness and quietness, as rare as these moments are in the busy life of a child, provide an avenue for God to speak? Could it be that our lives as adults have become so busy and sophisticated that we don't hear the voice of God because we are rarely in darkness and quiet? Perhaps we have something to learn from these children. Perhaps in our attempt to be "grown up" we have lost the sensitivity that children have when they are given the opportunity to be quiet before God. Is there a lesson for us to learn about putting our complicated world to the side to sit in darkness and listen to the voice of God? Maybe the story of Elijah hearing the "gentle whisper" from God in I Kings 19 is as applicable today as it was in the dessert outside of Horeb.

I will soon be doing some intentional research on this topic. If you are a parent and have children who have made similar comments, I would love to hear their stories.  If you are a children's worker and have heard these type of stories then I would love to hear from you as well.  If this conversation is new to you, I would love to hear your opinions and insights.  What other issues may be contributing factors to children hearing God's voice at night in bed?  Would you be willing to go to the discussion board and write down your thoughts?

Just thinkin'